im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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