Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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