: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
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I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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