In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I could fuck to npr.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
