I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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