Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
