So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
