my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
