i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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