Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
