I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
