I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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