UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am one with the molecules
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
