After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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