Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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