It's Friday. Sex?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
