I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
