I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
