The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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