He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
