The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
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It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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