If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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