and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
