I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
