I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
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Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
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I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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