There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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