I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
