I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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