all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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