She said her name was "party"
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
soo... how was my night?
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