Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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