Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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