I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
