Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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