Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
