CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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