I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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