He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
