Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
