I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hippo gnu deer
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
