Dude my mom stole all your condoms
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You have to summon your inner elephant
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
