WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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