I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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