Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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