I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
