ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
