You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
