We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You dont lie about slip and slides
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
