She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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