Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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