Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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