Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
