Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
