small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
True strength comes from lack of pants
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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