woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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