Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
