the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize