mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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