i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
