All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
