As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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