So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
