The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
