I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
