Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize