I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize